i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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