Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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