Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
