You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
