..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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