If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
