the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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