come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
