i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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