Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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