what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
