"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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