i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
