I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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