I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We named our party play list daddy issues
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
im on a boat
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