i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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