ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
