she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
