I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
