I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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