dude i'm inner monologue high
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
