And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
