I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I puked a lego.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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