I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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