So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
