Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
