If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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