And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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