Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize