How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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