I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
