I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
