I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i will never coherently bang her
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
