Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
