There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I need a beard to bite.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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