doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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