i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
