went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
