She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Alive.
So much puke
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You can't just leave with hair like that
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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