...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
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