I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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