Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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