he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Text me some of your sweat
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
