I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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