I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
