im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
