Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
