how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Randomize
