i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
