protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You ruined the universe
Randomize