Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
