So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
