oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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