Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
