The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
