Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
