Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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