I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
