I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
