What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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