yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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