opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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