i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
