I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Be still, my beating vagina.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Go christen that room with your naked body.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
where are my eyebrows?
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