And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
