marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
