some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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