She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
